So, I went in and faced the music. I knew it wasn't going to be great, all singing, all dancing A*s across the board. I had warned the powers that be that in the end, my hopes weren't high. And yet, I secretly wished (and put my all in to achieve!) The very best I could in terms of grades.
It wasn't enough.
I had come back to a mess. My results were terrible. My school hadn't offered drama at GCSE so I had no way to redeem myself. And I was coming back to exactly he same situation in terms of knowledge base for drama that I had when I first started.
My biggest fears were that it would end up being the same.
It all felt too familiar. Like some sort of horrific groundhog day thats on a 5 year cycle. I couldn't let that happen again.
I cried. A lot. It was tough to hear that your best isn't good enough. I barely made it through the exam analysis meeting I was supposed to have. I just couldn't hold myself together. There I was; new mother, just returned after 9 months out, all the curriculum for GCSE had changed, the grading had changed, the kids I knew had left. I was out of my depth. I was told it didn't matter that my opinion was that throughout the process of the GCSE, the kids had improved - some had gone up by 4 GCSE grades between exams done in July 2015 and November 2015 - all that mattered was what OFSTED were going to think when they saw I had failed.
I didn't just want to quit. I wanted the group to swallow me up and never be seen again.
But life doesn't work that way and I resolved to make changes. I scrapped everything we had used up until that point. All our SOWS. All the curriculum maps. All the assessment and their criteria. It all had to go.
I'm starting again...
It wasn't enough.
I had come back to a mess. My results were terrible. My school hadn't offered drama at GCSE so I had no way to redeem myself. And I was coming back to exactly he same situation in terms of knowledge base for drama that I had when I first started.
My biggest fears were that it would end up being the same.
It all felt too familiar. Like some sort of horrific groundhog day thats on a 5 year cycle. I couldn't let that happen again.
I cried. A lot. It was tough to hear that your best isn't good enough. I barely made it through the exam analysis meeting I was supposed to have. I just couldn't hold myself together. There I was; new mother, just returned after 9 months out, all the curriculum for GCSE had changed, the grading had changed, the kids I knew had left. I was out of my depth. I was told it didn't matter that my opinion was that throughout the process of the GCSE, the kids had improved - some had gone up by 4 GCSE grades between exams done in July 2015 and November 2015 - all that mattered was what OFSTED were going to think when they saw I had failed.
I didn't just want to quit. I wanted the group to swallow me up and never be seen again.
But life doesn't work that way and I resolved to make changes. I scrapped everything we had used up until that point. All our SOWS. All the curriculum maps. All the assessment and their criteria. It all had to go.
I'm starting again...
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